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Lament for a Son, by Nicholas Wolterstorff
Download Lament for a Son, by Nicholas Wolterstorff
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From Library Journal
Wolterstorff, a well-known Christian philosopher, lost his 25-year-old son to a mountain climbing accident. His reflections in the wake of that tragedy are at times deeply personal, but always he expresses a prayerful anguish with which most bereaved parents will identify. Above all he refuses to turn from the "demonic awfulness" of death and, as he moves faithfully through grief, discovers new meaning in the Beatitudes, together with a new understanding of a suffering God. Spiritually enriching and theologically substantive. ECCopyright 1987 Reed Business Information, Inc.
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Review
Booklist "A deeply moving account of how one man has learned to deal with pain."Christianity Today "For the gift of this personal meditation, the Christian community should offer profound gratitude. Perhaps once or twice a year—in a good year—one reads a book so compelling, so essential, that one wishes to advise all friends, 'Here, please read this book. It's wonderful.' Simple and profound, Lament for a Son is such a book."Church Times (U.K.) "Nicholas Wolterstorff's account of his own grief for his 25-year-old son's death, like C. S. Lewis's book written after his wife's death, combines acute observation of personal, actual pain with a mind disciplined in academic theology."Circuit Rider "A book destined to become a classic. Artistically and theologically, this book gets high marks, for it discloses a suffering father marked by the wounds of loss, seeking redemptive power through the cross. . . Pastoral care applications for this book are immense. This is a book about hope and healing power revealed through pathos and suffering love. Lament for a Son is eloquent grief-work and is must reading for all pastors."Henri J. M. Nouwen "Lament for a Son is a simple, honest, and poignant expression of one man's grief, but it is more. By sharing the depths of his grief, not in trite phrases but honestly, Nicholas Wolterstorff helps open the floodgates for those who cannot articulate their pain. . . This little book is a true gift to those who grieve and those who, in love, reach out to comfort. Wolterstorff's words are, indeed, 'salve on our wounds.' Thank God he did not remain silent."Journal of Psychology & Christianity "This book is destined to become a classic, and in many ways is even better than C. S. Lewis's Grief Observed. . . It is a book of questions in the face of death, searching for how to go on, living without a loved one. . . He expresses both the evil of death and the face of God in and through death. It is a poem to life that expresses the numbness of death, the isolation of grief, the silence and yet suffering of God, finding meaning in the suffering. This is a book to read over and over and over."Library Journal "Wolterstorff, a well-known Christian philosopher, lost his 25-year-old son to a mountain climbing accident. His reflections in the wake of that tragedy are at times deeply personal, but always he expresses a prayerful anguish with which most bereaved parents will identify. Above all he refuses to turn from the 'demonic awfulness' of death and, as he moves faithfully through grief, discovers new meaning in the Beatitudes, together with a new understanding of a suffering God. Spiritually enriching and theologically substantive."Martin E. Marty "Read him, and again I say unto you, please read him."Pulpit Digest "To tell yet another tale of grief is not news; telling it honestly and reflectively, however, is what elevates Nicholas Wolterstorff's Lament for a Son into that circle of books that surpass the telling and evoke affirmation from the reader. . . This is a book pastors ought to read. It is an inside-the-skin experience of grief. It is also a book pastors and church libraries ought to have, particularly to help parents who have lost children. I shared Lament for a Son with a grieving father, who commented, 'He said almost everything I had felt.' Those words are high praise for a guidebook to the valley of the shadow."Walter Wangerin, Jr. "Wolterstorff inquires as Job inquired. He is honest and utterly resistant to the cheap answers about death: finally, to any answers about death at all. . . He looks, without foolish giddiness or delusion, but in faith, to the day that Death and this death shall be overcome—and he takes his place beside all who suffer. . . A miracle."Charisma "After a heart-wrenching tragedy—the death of his 25-year-old son—this father writes about the questions, the mourning, and the hope after his grieving. Lament for a Son will provoke tears—but healthy tears."
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Product details
Paperback: 111 pages
Publisher: Eerdmans; 1 edition (May 18, 1987)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 080280294X
ISBN-13: 978-0802802941
Product Dimensions:
5.2 x 0.5 x 8 inches
Shipping Weight: 4.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.8 out of 5 stars
187 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#18,361 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
I lost my son nearly two years ago. He was 50. This Lament is nearly perfect, with all the emotions the death of a loved one brings up from the depths of our being. I thought sadly of the author when he felt determined to resist healing, but thrilled when he finally worked out the complete understanding of God’s kingdom and felt the fullness of hope.
In sharing his own laments, Nicholas Wolterstorff bestows a gift. Christians are often hard-pressed to confront grief with honesty. In Lament for a Son, Wolterstorff removes the rose-colored glasses, and eschews Stoicism in favor of an honest wrestling with the reality of Death and the presence (or absence) of God in it. His honesty is akin to Lewis's in A Grief Observed, though his dominant voice is one of wounding rather than anger.Like Lewis, Wolterstorff ends with his trust in the Trinitarian God fully intact, but you know and feel the lingering shadow of death in this haunting hymn of hard-won faith."I shall try to keep the wound from healing, in recognition of our living still in the old order of things. I shall try to keep it from healing, in solidarity with those who sit beside me on humanity's mourning bench."
If you have lost a child to death this book will help you enormously.My wife and I lost our youngest son 07-18-15 while he was working as missionary in Accra, Ghana.Read this book and suffer with the father...
I have had a hard time expressing to friends my grief since my son's death in a traffic accident. This book touched me greatly and has helped put words to my own feelings. I purchased multiple copies for family and close friends who have been concerned for me. I too have found moments of peace amongst my sorrow. I too have come to accept while still questioning.
A friend loaned me this little book after my son died. It helped almost more than any other thing I've read except Saving a Life by Charles and Janet Morris.The words in the book gave me words to express my grief, thoughts I have about my son's death and facets no one else can understand unless they've had a child die--my son will be 48 next week.
For 16 months now, my grief/lament for a daughter has been brutal. Losing a child is devastating. I have read many books on grief, heaven, near death experiences/the afterlife - the only subjects I am interested in and need desperately for the past 16 months. Many of them have been helpful in some way. A few, like this Lament for a Son, have touched me deeply. I had started reading "If God is Good" by Randy Alcorn because his "Heaven" book was wonderful and helped me but since my extreme grief began, I have been unable to focus well on anything most of the time. I had bought this Lament book a year ago but it sat in my grief books stack. While cleaning one day, I picked it up and noticed that it is a compilation of short, 1-3 page thoughts/laments. I opened it in the middle, read one and was hooked. Because they are so short, I was able to focus on each and read the entire book within a few days. The laments are connected yet stand on their own. Most gave confirmation of my own suffering. There were many ah-ha moments where Nicholas puts together reasoning for the way we feel and things we do and think. The biblical basis/truths are most helpful too. This alleviates some of the stress grievers feel when we do not understand why and get so confused because our brains are in such a heavy fog. I'm buying more copies of it to give to grieving friends. One of his enlightening moments for me was his one on the thought that grief isolates. Though I think often about a friend who lost a child since my loss, and at times we will say we must get together for lunch, but we never do. It was bothering me that we are both so paralized by it that we do not get together. We occasionally text each other or find ourselves at a 'mom/parent's who've lost children' support meeting that we do not coordinate to meet at. Nicholas concludes that we are not only isolated from the happy people, but we are isolated from each other. Though our grief is similar in that our children were childhood friends and close in age, it is also so individual/different that it isolates us. From Lament, if I am allowed to quote a tiny bit: "I must struggle so hard to regain life...it's when people are happy that they say, 'Lets get together'." That is only one of them. There are many that helped immensely, sometimes more than the all day grief seminar did!
Like most of the reviewers here, I'm a member of that exclusive club who lost a child. I was given partial solace by leaders of the local chapter of Compassionate Friends which specializes in grief counselling. All the leaders and participants have paid a huge price to join, but nothing monetary. The glue holding it together is the loss of a child.This author must have received comfort in writing while passing the time...time in the short term is your enemy. When enough time passes, the pain eases, although it never goes away. In the early months it's hard to concentrate because the grief keeps popping up without permission. I took solace in learning a few pieces on the piano which were way over my head, and doing an extensive photograph editing project about my lost child - a way for me to spend months making the time pass. Our author grieved by writing down his thoughts. My wife read lots of books on grief, but most of them were not my cup of tea. I found an isolated book or passage now and then which connected with me, and I actively looked for them. The usual grief counsellor doesn't have a clue, not from lack of sympathy or effort. It's been 8 years now since my loss, so I'm not needy for solace, but I'm always ready to hear another man's story...and what a story this is. This book is a day by day pouring out of expressions of grief done in an effort to heal that which can never be entirely healed. I count it amongst those few books that would have been of benefit to me in the first year of my loss. My sympathies go to the author and his family, and my sincere appreciation goes to him for the sharing of his story.
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